A Serious Post For Once

Greetings from Cedar Crest, New Mexico!

I'm going to be starting to work on a new show for MTV on Monday, which means that the next few months are going to be busy, busy, busy. So I thought I'd take this last week of vacation and go back to my home state to relax a bit and visit my family (since it will be a while until I can do so again).

While most of this trip is going to be about taking hikes, visiting art galleries, eating home cooked meals, and decompressing from the insanity that is Los Angeles, there also was an additional purpose to this trip that was a bit more difficult and that's what I wanted to talk about in this post.

Yesterday I went to the Burn Unit at an ICU to visit a close friend of my family, Patricia (who I've known my entire life), who has been there for the past two months. Basically, she had a freak accident in which she stumbled over the leg of a chair (which has happened to all of us right?) but happened to fall into a bonfire pit that had a roaring fire in it at the time. This incident caused 3rd degree burns over 50% of her body, it put her in a drug induced coma for over 6 weeks, she contracted both sepsis and a staff infection, and doctors flat out said that it would be nothing short of a miracle if she survived the ordeal. Well she did.

I was very eager to finally be able to see her, but extremely nervous at the same time. It was without a doubt one of the toughest experiences I've had in a while (maybe ever). Now I am no stranger to hospitals...I was a bit of a reckless child, so I had to be taken to the Emergency Room with broken bones and and bumps and bruises on average of about once a year from the time I was 8 until I reached about 14 (it got to the point where the reception staff at the ER would recognize me as soon as I walked in the door). I also am hearing impaired, so I've already had more tests done on my head then most people will have in their lifetime. But I think that anyone who has been to a burn unit will agree, burns are different.

It was very tough seeing someone who I've always known to be so lively being so frail and with breathing tubes and heart monitors (she is a professional ballet instructor and was an elite ballerina in her youth, so I don't think she's had a frail moment in her life until this point). I had to wear a hospital gown and rubber gloves in order to even be in the same room as her because of the sepsis and staff infections, so it was an intimidating feeling even before I was able to actually see her. She looked about how I was anticipating she would, maybe a little better even. She had burns on the left side of her face, but they stopped just a bit above her jawline, which made it easier for me because I still saw her. She was still Patricia. She showed me the skin grafts on her arms, which were strapped outwards crucifix style to keep the new skin from healing too tightly. The grafting looked better then I thought it would as well, it just looked like normal skin with a grid pattern on it. Her hearing was impaired and doctors still aren't exactly sure why, but she was able to speak and was very aware not only of what was currently going on, but of what had been going on over the past few weeks. She was even able to tell me some of the dreams she had while she was in a coma. She told me that everyone who comes to visit her starts crying and that that made her angry because she's not crying, so nobody else is allowed to! I told her that she actually looked better then what I had expected, knowing all that she's endured, which made her smile and she seemed relieved to be told that she looked good (rather then having another person break down upon seeing her). She then told me that they were going to move her to a Wound Center within the next couple weeks, which she was excited about because then she'd be with "her homies" as she put it, and they could sit around and compare wounds like in the Jaws movie, and she would totally win because her wound covered her whole body. The jokes continued about everything from the hospital food to bathroom issues and we laughed the entire time I was there, which was surprising considering the circumstances. When visitor hours were over and I finally had to leave, she still had a smile on her face and waved with the one part of her body that she could move...her right thumb.

Overall, I'm extremely glad that I was able to see Patricia and that it was a positive experience for both of us. However I really hope that I never have to set foot in a burn unit ever again. It was by far the most difficult place I've ever been in, and I think certain smells and sounds and things that I saw are going to stick with me for quite some time.

The whole situation surrounding Patricia has given me a bit of a fresh outlook on life, which is a positive that has come from the ordeal. The reality is, at any given moment our lives can completely change. You never know when you may trip over the leg of a chair and everything you know can be totally different or gone altogether. Life is too short to keep putting off doing the things you want, do it now. Live in the moment. We are all very lucky that today we woke up, and tomorrow we may not. So soak it in and enjoy every minute of it.

So today I'm sitting out on the back porch of my house, drinking a margarita, and listening to the birds chirping in the trees. And I'm loving every minute of it.

The view from my back porch